It would be remiss of me not to use the internet at least once as a platform for an opinion on politics. So, regarding Tony Abbott’s recent reference to Julia Gillard’s cheeky smile as a ‘shit eating grin,’ am I the only one who immediately spotted the John Waters reference? I mean, it’s not exactly a popular phrase in Australia (and I’ve met some base folks). So putting two and two together to get five, can I just say that it's obvious TONY ABBOTT LIKES WATCHING DUDES THAT CAN SING SURFIN BIRD OUT THEIR ASSHOLES!!! Is that okay? Cool.

Next week I'll talk about our trading relationship with China, budget deficits, and what a twat Kevin Rudd is for pandering to football culture (when he's clearly a yoghurt-knickered dweeb that doesn't 'do' sports). Nexus Swine, you've come to the right place.